the ijc

larry steals my thunder

apparently, TIWWDN is attempting a hostile takeover of the my domain:

When you attend Lehigh University as a gentile undergrad, there are several previously unforseen yet universal truths that are revealed:

1) In select areas of Long Island and New Jersey, money does in fact grow on trees.
2) Barry is apparently an acceptable name for a human female.
3) If you're Jewish, you went to camp with every other Jew in the tri-state region.
4) Not even the hottest girls can stave off weight gain on a 15-a-day Beast Light habit.
5) No one has bigger breasts than Jewish women.

What in the world do they put in that matzoh ball soup anyway? Hell, I may have to limit my future daughter to a strict diet of pastrami on rye just to make sure her inevitable self-esteem issues don't stem from her rack.

· How come Jewish girls have the biggest tits? [TIWWDN]

if only...

hilarious:

“Those girls who say, ‘I’m just as comfortable on a night out in my high heels as I am kicking back with you on the couch watching football and drinking beer,’ or any variation of that—there are tons of people who say that,” said Mr. Gilman, effectively wiping the entire female population of Murray Hill off his dating map.

· Your Favorite Movie Is What? That's a Dealbreaker [NY Observer]

no joke, pretty much every single girl on jdate says that she, "loves to take advantage of all nyc has to offer," and that she, "likes to go out but also likes to stay in." how original...no wonder you're been on jdate for three years!

facebook

students after my own heart.

if facebook was around when i was in college, i would have definitely started a group like this.

only 57 members thus far, but sure to continue growing.

friends with money

with this latest news, syracuse edges ahead of wisconsin in the race to see which school can produce the most ijc's:

Though she and the roommate are still friendly, Ms. Gordon said money issues contributed to the fact they aren't as close as they once were. Now it is her younger sister, a freshman at Syracuse, who is feeling the sort of competitive pressure Ms. Gordon's roommate felt. The sister recently asked their parents for a Louis Vuitton bag, Ms. Gordon said, because, "Everyone at school has a Louis bag."
· Money Changes Everything [NY Times]

let my people go

white dade--blogger extrodanaire and head of the south florida ijc board of tourism--gives his two cents on the ijc vs shiksa debate.

Older Jews, including my mother, in my family complain about there being no Jewish people left in a few generations because of all the intermarriage. Well, maybe if you didn’t raise your daughters to be such materialistic pricesses who will "never settle" our people could survive a little longer.

Like it or not, most Jewish girls do not fit the American ideal of beauty. My point? The only girls who can get away with being completely materialistic and picky and having boring personalities are over 5'8", under 120 pounds and blonde. Period. So if you girls want to start reading articles about how muchmen love you, lose the attitude and become the type of girl a guy wants to hang out with for a change.
· Don't Blame the Shiksas, Blame Yourselves [White Dade]

well put. i could not say it any better myself.

special mention to ashburnite, another blog i've been reading lately. certain stereotypes deserve to be perpetuated, and this is definitely one of them.  with kiki out of my life i may have finally found a girl i can love.   

the bank of mom and dad

from the nytimes article titled, "the bank of mom and dad" :
 

Jason McGuinness, 23, in his New York apartment with his mother, Gail Horowitz. Ms. Horowitz sends him a monthly check for $300 and picks up his cellphone bill.

that's chump change--around $5,000 per year. if you're going to be a pussy and taken money from your parents, at least make it an amount you can do something with. hell, a lot of the girls i know have parents pay their entire rent--that's at least $20k per year--getting closer to real money.

my first year living in new york i made $40k. i paid my own rent--all of it--and no one gave me a penny. instead of going out to lot 61 and blowing $10 on a drink, my buddies and i would go to  to third & long for $1 drafts or other places with cheap beer. i didn't eat out every night,  i got by on homemade salads, pb&j and pasta and splurged on the occasional date or dinner with friends.   i didn't belong to equinox, i went running outside and did push-ups in my living room.  and you can bet your ass i didn't go clothes shopping every weekend.

maybe that's why i'm always amazed at the people who think its normal for a parent to pay their child's rent. i guess i would think it was normal if all my friends had the same arrangement. still, these same people who withdraw funds from the bank of mom and dad would never consider living with their parents--how ironic. they also would never live in brooklyn, hoboken or queens, or in a building without a doorman, yet they look down their noses peers who live in the boroughs because it's more affordable.

i'm not saying jason or anyone else is a bad person, and i certainly don't know what the solution is. maybe white collar jobs in new york need to start paying starting salaries so that young people can afford to live where they work. maybe people need to save up and live at home for six months before moving to new york. maybe if you can't afford to live somewhere, then perhaps you should consider living somewhere else.

spanning the globe

things have been very busy in ijc-land. no time for a proper post now.

gawker would call this blogorrhea, but i'll skip the cute names and just link you to some stuff i've been reading lately. enjoy.

You see, now that I'm 28, I'm older and wiser, but even moreso, I just don't give a shit. Gone are the days where I would run into oncoming traffic to avoid talking to [insert generic Jewish first name] [insert generic Jewish last name] from [insert generic, evil town in Long Island] about her new [insert generic Jewish girl from Long Island job]. These days, it just takes too much effort to go out of my way to avoid talking to such people. Like Lou Brown in Major League, I'm just too old to go "jumping into a locker" every time a girl from my past passes me by.
· Portnoy Walks The Streets [This Place Is Dead Anyway]

Growing up on the North Shore of LI, like many young pretty intelligent women, marrying a nice rich Jewish boy became an idealized prize. As soon as I shed the ripped jeans, the blue hair and Muppets lunch boxes that plagued my awkward adolescent years, my mother got in touch with the LI gossip brigade and the blind dates of friends’ of friends’ sons began. All of them rich, all of them came from “good” families and all of them were assholes.
· This One Is For The Working Man [Drunk and Single in NYC]

I just discovered this blog. Apparently some people think this guy is funny. I think he's a douche. Log in and send him comments letting him know he's a douche.
· Who The Fuck is IJC? [Side Notes]

the last one is my personal favorite.

the debut of the ijc spring collection

can you say best shirt ever ?

i'm totally wearing this next time i get invited to a birthday party for some slightly overweight, horribly mediocre stacey, jamie, randi or brooke with un-naturally straight hair and a $500 purse. everyone will think it is so funny. too bad i won't be kidding. 

 

getting ready for spring

spring's first breath has my head spinning with thoughts of sundresses and bare legs and cleavage and all kinds of other good stuff. here's a short list of some things that have me excited for spring:

- warm weather means more action at the tasti-d-lite
- the sight of fat girls at the gym working off the extra winter lbs.
- no more furry boots. this ridiculous fashion trend needs to end now. girls, you look ridiculous.
- rooftop parties
- white. fucking. pants.
- the scene at the new bar tonic at 29th and 3rd
- the interns
- thursday night at the bowery bar
- two words:  jean skirt

god, i can't wait.

 

what he said

the leading candidate for 2006 comment of the year:

I'm behind Jake on this score, and it isn't a question of looks either, but something more than skin deep: IJC's are bad in bed. Truth to power!

I would not however chalk this up to any real fault of their own. One of the blog's subtler and more sensitive points is the damage wreaked on these young women by their own status and station. Don't let's get weepy over the poor little rich girl, but defects of the personality stemming from their cockamamie suburban upbringings include a sometimes pathetic desire to please, and an ongoing effort to behave as if they were enjoying themselves even when they're miserable. Result: Bad sex.

The blogger is not, I feel, a JDate-type down on his luck. He's not missing anything! Besides, ignorance is a turn-off, like infuriatingly unattractive. I've always suspected-- I'm Jewish, mind you-- that in the case of Jewish girls, their watered-down pseudo-mystical relationship to their faith and ancestry takes the place of any genuine inner life. Cripples their sexuality, too. I suppose IJC's can find real happiness like anybody else, but they'd have to forgo some of their studied falseness to get it.

 

i don't know who you are ivan, but you are a smart man.