motivated by fear

everyone at the gym--the men and the women--are all checking out the hottest girl in the place. the thing is, the women are looking at her and thinking, "god i wish i could look like that. i am going to pump the elliptical machine up to 7.5 today and maybe that will help me look like her." the men, on the other hand, look at the hot girl and think, "i'd kill someone just to see that girl naked. i am going to hit the weights with a vengeance today and maybe i can get with a girl that hot." that's the difference between women and men and i've been thinking about this a lot lately.

ever noticed that all over new york the gyms are incredibly crowded at 6 am, mostly with women. you'll see the same thing if you take a few laps around the central park reservoir around sunrise--lots more women than men. aside from chelsea (for obvious reasons), regardless of where and when you choose to exercise in this city, the place is likely to be overwhelmed by women glistening with sweat: tall girls, short girls, thin, heavy, blond, brunette, sports bras, spandex, sweatpants, breasts, thighs...everywhere.

i think the girls are motivated by fear. scared of being alone, scared of being rejected, scared of being getting old, scared of getting fat. ok, that last one is a biggie. they are worried that if any of these things happen to them(alone, rejected, old, fat), then they are a failure.

let's face it, success for girls is basically defined by looks. a woman can be successful, but if she's ugly then no one really cares. however, a guy can be fat or ugly or short or just an be asshole, but if he's got a lot of money or a kick-ass job, then people are willing to overlook his flaws. look at harvey weinstein, or salman rushdie or howard stern. they all certainly have their physical  (and character) flaws but each has still managed to be with some very hot women and be respected in their industry.

it's different for girls. if you're a girl and not hot or thin (preferably both), no one really cares who you are or what you do. there's not many guys lining up to a date female investment bankers...unless of course that female investment banker is smoking hot--in which case guys will be lined up around the block. if meg whitman was better looking i'll bet she'd divorce her husband and there'd be pictures of her in US Weekly making out with jared leto at the roosevelt. look at oprah. she's might have a billion dollars, but you don't see her sitting court side at the all-star game with jay-z or justin timberlake. the flip-side is demi moore. pretty worthless career at this point, but she has managed to stay relevant because she's a piece of ass. also, i'll bet if the neo-cons weren't keeping her on a tight leash, condi rice would be running around the beltway with denzel.

you might not like it, but you know i'm right. sorry girls, the truth hurts. now get to the gym.

Comments

[O Please]

Sorry. Wrong. I don't want anyone to see me in my underwear. What do I care if faceless gym folks see me running? You are so full of belief in other people's superficiality that I wonder why you are on jdate and all those other systems at all. Instead of acting as if you speak for hordes of people, why not just start speaking for yourself? Then you wouldn't get into these arguments.

Example: Your wife treated you badly, not all women. YOU like being seen at the gym.

We don't need your warnings. We have a whole website for that. And the author of this site gave you a whole post just a week ago with your twisted views.

...which have been debunked, especially since you have three relatives who are Jewish women whom you deeply admire.

If it was wonderful for men to be single, you wouldn't be paying all the money for the dating sites, and you wouldn't be so angry. Remember, never settle. Must go feed my Great Dane now - I was afraid of rescuing a chihuahua because of all the horrible things you'd assume about me.

Never settle! Never again! Never marry! Never make sense!!

[Sad Irony of it is...]

... everyone gets fat and ugly in the end. That's one point for personality mattering, unless you can keep divorcing and marrying someone young.

Anyhow, I think your analysis of the gym is unfortunate but accurate. I'm just glad I met someone who I love and have great sex with. A few pounds ain't gonna change that much.

[Donna]

Thank you, Sad Irony. To the guys: Stop being so angry and listen to this guy. He's got a good attitude. Which is probably why he's both in a happy relationship AND getting laid.

Once again, you made me laugh.

[Donna]

to the ijc victim: o. please has me thinking, so i need to ask: do you want a guy to marry your daughter?

[Ciao Roma]

Funny Funny Stuff. How true you are Mr. IJC. I love this stuff. I'm your average Joe, with an above average salary for my age. So what did I go and do? Pulled an Ashton. That's right, I landed some hot piece of ass older lady (not old old, but older). She was a size 0 when we met, now a size 2 (we're working on getting her back down to that 0, that's what I fell in love with, and that's what's important). But, it was funny to see how she fed off of two things as well:

1. My money for my age
2. My age

My age + my money insures Mrs. Old Maid that she's is in fact NOT and Old Maid because she can attract younger guys and while being seen with this younger guy, she doesn't have to pay a dime. All this equals a pretty comfortable life for Mrs. Old Maid until I tell her to take a hike. It will be soon, but I just have to find someone else first!

[Da E Key]

Da E Key would like to weigh in if he might.

Da E Key at 31 goes to the gym for appearances first and foremost...oh sure, health matters but it is in the back of my mind at best. I think when people are single they go for appearance purposes - anyone who says they are going for health reasons is lying (kinda like people who say they do not masturbate).

Afterall as a dude i need to make myself beautiful for de womens.

Da E Key thinks that there is some truth to the mighty IJC's initial post. Women are probably judged more on appearance and men more on monetary success than vice versa. However i think this "judging" only takes place in the superficial world. And indeed IJC women AND men make up this superficial world.

A point was made by angry divorced guy i think that guys who are nurses (FALCKER!) have to go for the shiksas...that is a generality...there are actually Jewish chics on the planet who are down to earth enough to date a guy who does something noble like teach instead of being an Investment Banker (but perhaps Da E Key has said too much here).

To O. Please - you again are rabid, drooling mad in your insults of IJCVictim. He says, "never settle". You insult him for saying this. Yet, "never settle" is coming from a guy who clearly DID settle and clearly DID get taken to the cleaners for settling on some below average beeeotch.

Also i think you angry girls have taken this "entitled to the hottest girl in the gym" idea just a weeee bit too far. That is putting words in his mouth.

I suggest putting a penis in your mouth for a change and feeling the sweetness of some warm male molasses. Da E Key more than happily recipricates by drinking your sweet nectar.

Much love,
Da E Key

[Da E Key]

Da E Key has been thinking...

You know what...IJC is very correct. A chic can be complete trailer trash and a lousy human but she will automatically get loads of positive attention thrust upon her by men (at least initially). The same person in a body 50 pounds overweight cannot hope to achieve this.

Best example ever - Anna Nicole Smith! (Fortunately not a Jew - oy vey!)

Much love,
Da E Key

[AnotherIJCvictim]

Da E Key: You are wise. A good looking woman or man will attract lots of people and get plenty of dates. Those dates will overlook the good looking jerk's flaws and put up with tons of abuse and crap before they finally say "enough is enough".
Let me offer an olive branch to my adversary on this blog- as Rodney King said, "can't we all just get along?"
And by the way, my kids are the antithesis of ijc/japs. Their sense of Jewish identity is just fine, thank you, and they find ijc's of either sex to be repugnant. Since they don't attend college around here, they have plenty of non-ijc Jewish friends of the opposite sex. Much of the ijc/jap phenomenon really is a regional NY/NJ/CT problem.

[O. Please]

"""And by the way, my kids are the antithesis of ijc/japs. Their sense of Jewish identity is just fine, thank you, and they find ijc's of either sex to be repugnant.""

You are making my point again. While it's ok to stereotype everyone else, the Jewish women close to you somehow for various reasons happen to skirt the stereotype, even though they grew up in this area.

Well guess what, so did I, and I'm not superficial or money-oriented, and there are plenty of people who aren't.

Sure, let's get along. I just agreed to lick E Key's taint, so maybe I'll loosen up a little. Mmm, tainted love. You know what I'm talkinbout.

[Trish]

"All this equals a pretty comfortable life for Mrs. Old Maid until I tell her to take a hike. It will be soon, but I just have to find someone else first!"

Posted by: Ciao Roma

What a wanker! I can't believe you actually get laid. Wonder of wonders.

[Sigh]

Yes, he's a jerk. It kind of goes without saying. This blog is the lounge car for male jerks, so don't be too surprised.

[Ciao Roma]

Oh I get laid Trish. And you want to know something else- I refuse to go down on her, or any woman for that matter. It's just not my cup of tea. I don't enjoy it. But I do expect it in return. Money has its merits. Dating unfortunately is legalized prostitution. I pay for dinner, let's say, and get sex in return. I take her away for a weekend, and get oral. That's why us men seek out what we like to call "interesting women." "Interesting" means that they are not talking about how the asian woman f-ed up her last manicure, or the poor mexican guy didn't polish the wheels on her mercedes when she paid for "the works" at the car wash. Because between the forking out the cash and the sex, you have to have something you are either interested in, or can stand listening to while her mouth is free from obstruction.

[Durr]

Ciao, get all the blow jobs you want, you are still a loathsome human being. But you don't care, so fine, good.

And if you like her so much, what's with this planning to dump her? If you're using her, just let her know that.

[Trish]

Money shouldn't have anything to do with it. If she thinks you're sexy, then she should want to go down on you.

The one-way street oral sex thing, though always crappy for the woman, is sadly, not that much of a rarity.

[Da E Key]

Once again, Da E Key would like to impart his sage like wisdom to this comments section.

Ladies, unfortunately Ciao has a point. In a kinda sickly sorta way...many guys view the dating process in a dollars for sex kind of thing - especially if we are not in love with the chic. I think this attitude is fostered mostly by the times when we take women out and we don't get a thank you or an offer to pay. Da E Key personally is very appreciative when he receives a "thank you for dinner". Guys get real turned off when we think the chica is just expecting it.

Da E Key also heavily disagrees with Ciao - as Krazy Eyez Killa (Curb Your Enthusiasm episode) once said: "GOT TA EAT DA PUSSAY LARRY DAVID!!!" Indeed you do. If i was a chic and i was dating a guy who would not perform the age old art of EATIN DA PUSSAY I would dump the man immediately. Loser. I don't care how nice of a clef he has in his chin.

Da E Key enjoys his time in between a lass's legs and is appreciate of the time he spends there...much like a lady should be appreciative for Da E Key footin da bill for dinner.

TAINTED LOVE UUHHH HONEY TAINTED LOVE

-Da Wise E Key

[Da E Key]

To IJCVictim...

One thing you should understand - the woman will certainly NOT overlook a good looking guy's flaws if the guy is a weenie. A dude's good looks wear off real quick for women. However, if a guy has some serious GAME and can smoothly always say the right thing at the right time to a woman and know how to pull at her heart strings in this manner - THEN the lady will put up with the asshole. Also - the man must be willing to be a big enough sonnofabitch to not feel guilty about being a sonnofabitch.

Indeed that is Da E Key's weakness in da dating game. Da E Key has matured and would rather treat a woman properly and consider her feeling den shtup her and make her feel like goat dung.

-Da Soft E Key

[Durr]

Guys, licking a woman's privates is MUCH easier than stuffing someone's dick down your throat. Sorry, but it is. Try putting a dick in your throat one day and see if you can stand it. I'm not saying we won't do it - I'm saying here's why it's not always easy.

You all think we like big dix, but we don't always.

Lots of guys WILL go down on a woman, if only to feel so much better than other guys.

[Ciao Roma]

Anyway, I don't care how easy it is to lick the axe wound- I'm NOT doing it. It's boring down there. Trust me, my face is staring at excel sheets, and word documents all day, I don't need to be staring at that when I get home. Let me pay for dinner (as usual), go home, nail you (BTW I could give a s&$t if you came, I did, and that's whats important), smoke a cigar, and go to sleep. Unfortunately, this is life ladies. Sex begins and ends with the man. And as long as I have that cash- I can ALWAYS find a way for it to begin!

[Da E Key]

Ciao if you be so bored why don't you challenge yourself?

Try takin a chic out and the most you can spend is 50 bucks on the nite. See if you can still get laid then. This will be an intriguing way to prevent boredom.

Much love,
Da E Key

[Durr]

Oh, Ciao is an ass and not worth engaging.

For all you guys whining about girls, you do realize that there are children in and out of hospitals, and serious problems in the world, and you're sitting and complaining that girls are 10 pounds overweight? Please. Worry about bigger issues and consider yourself lucky.

[Da E Key]

Durr you just read the times this morning didn't you?

[cluft]

Bypassing the hate mail and responses, I just wanted to add that I've noticed a (perhaps reciprocal) preponderance of men at the gym in the late evenings -- especially after 8 on Fridays and weekends. Perhaps the women are more worried about getting ready to go out, or about being seen working out when they ought to be socializing. But the gym population is mostly guys at those times.

[Durr]

i wonder why guys like ciao try to add such anger and hate and nastiness into the world anyway. he talks about a woman he's dating like she's a piece of trash. is it that hard to be civil and ok, at least to the people we date? jesus.

[anglican]

While I agree that women are judged on their attractiveness, it's not really the thin issue, at least if you have any sense of scope.

My chunky friends totally score with certain types. Men of most colors, for example. southern men. basically, anyone but uptight northeastern types.

I think in general younger people tend to be more concerned with what other people find attractive, and as they get older, they get more concerned with what they themselves find attractive ... the latter including a much broader range of types.

the money thing, too, is a cultural thing. New York is full of "generous" men and their kept women. while it's always a factor, it seems to be a much smaller one elsewhere (witness the amt of money required to be noticed by japs, as reported here). but i think it's kind of cool that way, high-class hookers and their empty ogre financial-guy boyfriends find each other. that's the beauty of it. they self-select, and leave the decent, rather less icky people alone.