motivated by fear

everyone at the gym--the men and the women--are all checking out the hottest girl in the place. the thing is, the women are looking at her and thinking, "god i wish i could look like that. i am going to pump the elliptical machine up to 7.5 today and maybe that will help me look like her." the men, on the other hand, look at the hot girl and think, "i'd kill someone just to see that girl naked. i am going to hit the weights with a vengeance today and maybe i can get with a girl that hot." that's the difference between women and men and i've been thinking about this a lot lately.

ever noticed that all over new york the gyms are incredibly crowded at 6 am, mostly with women. you'll see the same thing if you take a few laps around the central park reservoir around sunrise--lots more women than men. aside from chelsea (for obvious reasons), regardless of where and when you choose to exercise in this city, the place is likely to be overwhelmed by women glistening with sweat: tall girls, short girls, thin, heavy, blond, brunette, sports bras, spandex, sweatpants, breasts, thighs...everywhere.

i think the girls are motivated by fear. scared of being alone, scared of being rejected, scared of being getting old, scared of getting fat. ok, that last one is a biggie. they are worried that if any of these things happen to them(alone, rejected, old, fat), then they are a failure.

let's face it, success for girls is basically defined by looks. a woman can be successful, but if she's ugly then no one really cares. however, a guy can be fat or ugly or short or just an be asshole, but if he's got a lot of money or a kick-ass job, then people are willing to overlook his flaws. look at harvey weinstein, or salman rushdie or howard stern. they all certainly have their physical  (and character) flaws but each has still managed to be with some very hot women and be respected in their industry.

it's different for girls. if you're a girl and not hot or thin (preferably both), no one really cares who you are or what you do. there's not many guys lining up to a date female investment bankers...unless of course that female investment banker is smoking hot--in which case guys will be lined up around the block. if meg whitman was better looking i'll bet she'd divorce her husband and there'd be pictures of her in US Weekly making out with jared leto at the roosevelt. look at oprah. she's might have a billion dollars, but you don't see her sitting court side at the all-star game with jay-z or justin timberlake. the flip-side is demi moore. pretty worthless career at this point, but she has managed to stay relevant because she's a piece of ass. also, i'll bet if the neo-cons weren't keeping her on a tight leash, condi rice would be running around the beltway with denzel.

you might not like it, but you know i'm right. sorry girls, the truth hurts. now get to the gym.

Comments

[Betty]

Whoa, IJC, you may have gone too far this time. I can already see the hate mail flooding in. Thank god you didn't post a pic, saying women who aren't beautiful are inconsequential, may get you in a lot of trouble.

You are true on some points, but not all.

[Rebecca]

Now IJC, you are truly bizarre. You are admitting that women are judged by looks while men can be as dumpy as they want and get away with it if men work hard or have a good personality...which girls have been saying this on here for months, saying how unfair it is that men are so superficial.

You are actually admitting that men have it much easier than women.

Why would we get angry? You are pretty much telling the truth. Men are superficial, and women know it, and they work like crazy to lose weight and try to get someone. Men know they have it good.

The blog is evidence of it. It complains about women being fat, etc. a bunch of times. At least you acknowledge that now.

You write:

"you might not like it, but you know i'm right. sorry girls, the truth hurts. now get to the gym."

But we're already there, which is what your entry is about.

Never have I seen someone admit how superficial his gender is, and admit what girls have been saying on this blog for months, and still try to fight about it when there's no fight!!!

This is all correct and well-known already.

[O Please]

Women are judged by looks, men are judged by personality.

Alert the media.

[HandsomeTommy]

I'm looking in the mirror the whole time i'm at the gym because that's where I find the best looking person in the joint. fuck, i'm handsome.

Women are judged for romantic potential on their looks. Men are judged on their achievements--how much money and power they have. So, IJC Blogger--get to work and maybe you can get that promotion. Do you think you're going to get girls by flexing those biceps?

[AnotherIJCvictim]

Women need to try harder to look as attractive as possible. There are simply more single women than there are single available men. Most women want to date 'up', that is, they are looking for someone at least as educated and earning as much or more than they do. Do the math- there are more women than men in the dating pool as a result. Men can therefore be more selective, and can demand better looking women.

[Mia Girl]

But IJC Victim, you said that women reject you because you are only a lowly critical care doctor and not a surgeon.

I guess all the artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, physical therapists, male nurses, etc. etc. can't find anyone if you can't. Tsk.

Since we all agree with much of what IJC posted today, I will say that many of us (at least people I know) aren't so black-and-white about looks, not in the way he makes it seem. Yes, looks matter, but different people have different preferences and tastes, and degrees of concern. Each of us knows a chubby girl, and an awkward scraggly smelly guy, who has a boy or girlfriend. We still want to find someone we can fall in love with, and that involves respecting the person and what they're about and liking what their mannerisms are. As long as they're not really gross, looks can be very relative. Just wanted to add a note of hope, but I realize that's not what this site is about. Even if we're in the minority, we exist. That said, I will still be in the gym tomorrow. Besides looking better, it's healthy.

[Almost 40]

People aren't reading what IJC actually wrote. He said that "a guy can be fat or ugly or short or just an be asshole, but if he's got a lot of money or a kick-ass job, then people are willing to overlook his flaws."

And this is true, but he has to have a LOT of money to rise into this category. Merely making six figures doen't cut it. Unless a man makes more than $200K his money is crap and women will only date a guy making less than $200K if he looks hot.

And to Mia Girl, people don't go to the gym to get healthy (is that even scientifically proven?) they go there to look good.

Although I don't understand IJC's obsession with thin-ness, because women who have some more weight, but it's not flabby because they work out, those women are more hot.

[Wanda Round]

See that? It's all relative.

We ARE reading what the IJC actually wrote, and your comment doesn't make anything different.

And of COURSE exercising makes you healthier than having fat and cholesterol throughout your body. Sure, the primary reason is to look good, but it's nice that it's healthy too.

The money comment could be another whole post, but like everything else, it depends on the girl. A hot girl who can get any guy might be more demanding in the finance department, so if you want hot, don't sob when a girl is just as superficial. You chose the superficial route; it didn't choose you.

Guys always look for an excuse for being overlooked that never has to do with the real reason anyway. They can never take personal responsibility for their flaws. A guy who is a jerk or boring will always say he doesn't make enough money. I notice that when guys are making more than $200,000, they blame the fact that they're too short. If they're both rich AND tall, they blame something else - like the fact that they're only a critical care doctor.

It's never that they could use a lil self improvement.

But what do girls do if they're not successful with guys? They go to the gym, they take classes, etc. Just like IJC said.

So for the single guys who whine here, if you buy into IJC Victim's philosophy that there are more of you than there are of girls, stay single.

[Almost 40]

"I notice that when guys are making more than $200,000, they blame the fact that they're too short. If they're both rich AND tall, they blame something else - like the fact that they're only a critical care doctor."

For women, a man being short is like having leprosy. And critical care doctors make less than $200K so that's why women don't care about the guy's job, he's making under the threshold.

"It's never that they could use a lil self improvement."

Self improvement means they don't look good enough to meet women's high standards, so you're just agreeing with me.

[AnotherIJCvictim]

Yes, I agree with Wanda Round, all men should remain single. Women have nothing to lose by getting married; men have everything to lose.
In an attempt at developing a relationship, most men bring far more to the table than women do, and there are more men than women overall. Men have every right to demand attractive women. It's a buyers' market.
For ijc's, all that counts is how much $$$ a man makes. That 200K figure seems low. Most japs' eyes only light up when they hear you are making over 300K.
But no matter how much money you have, and how pleasant a personality you have, and are tall, slim and have a full head of hair, the ijc always thinks she can hold out for someone better. It's hopeless.
RE: "...I guess all the artists, musicians, writers, lawyers, physical therapists, male nurses, etc. etc. can't find anyone if you can't. Tsk..." Those men do find women, but I guarantee those women are all shiksas. No ijc would '"settle" for any men with those jobs, unless they were fabulously wealthy as well.

[AnotherIJCvictim]

Correction: "...there are more women than men overall..."

[Reading Comp]

"Self improvement means they don't look good enough to meet women's high standards"

Um, read it again - you left out the possibility of the men being boring and jerky.

I know many average-looking men who have funny or really interesting or sweet personalities, and they are in happy relationships. Of course, they're not starting angry blogs so you won't hear from them here. You know some of those guys, too.

Do you want to join their ranks and get a girl, or do you want to keep blaming women for your singleness?

Self-improvement can mean getting hobbies, volunteering, reading books, or just not criticizing women's looks all the time.

But again, it's no fun to take personal responsibility for being boring, creepy, or just an asshole. It's gotta be that you're short or poor. And that the women are horrible.

Yes, there are superficial women in New York. I agree! There are even IJC's. They're fun to laugh at. But there are superficial men, too, which the IJC-author writes about today. Today's post was about men being extremely superficial, and women trying to attract them because they know how superficial men are.

"IJC Victim," rather than talking about this, wants to point out that men CAN demand the hottest gal in the gym, becuase there are more single women than men. Well, congratulations. As long as he thinks it's good when men are superficial, I'm not sure why he gets to copmlain about women doing the same thing.

Since there ARE more single women in this area then men, I must invoke personal responsibility again - IF YOU DON'T LIKE SUPERFICIAL WOMEN, STOP DATING THEM ALREADY. There are other girls out there, obviously. Yes, I know, they're not in Cobble Hill. Oh well, walk a little.

Thank you, author of this website, for today's post. Look at all the good dialogue it inspires. A year blaming women for being petty and superficial at least resulted in a post about men being just as bad. Whew.

[Reading Comp]

CORRECTION: "...complain..."

[Brett Diamond]

I love the low-cut spandex trend. Suck ems.

[Trish]

"look at oprah. she's might have a billion dollars, but you don't see her sitting court side at the all-star game with jay-z or justin timberlake. the flip-side is demi moore. pretty worthless career at this point, but she has managed to stay relevant because she's a piece of ass."

So, Oprah isn't relevant b/c she's not hanging courtside with Jay-Z? I guess it depends on how you define relevance. Your definition is interesting. Shallow, but interesting.

I've been reading for a few days. Your blog is a sweet, sweet poison. I know I shouldn't indulge, but I can't help it.

[White Dade]

Y'all are some warped ass people. As a fitness industry professional, I can tell you that, yes, a lot of people exercise because they are motivated by fear..of death. A lot of my clients are over the age of 40, and not one of them had said they are in here because they want to look better. bone loss, cholesterol, heart disease, but not vanity. Maybe peoepl are just less superficial in Miami.

As for those under 40, well, they usually can't afford to hire me, so I can't really speak to their motivations.

[just get it over with]

it's pretty obvious that ijcvictim and the girl he's constantly bickering with should just bang already, work out all that tension, and spare us the circular arguments. they might even burn an incidental calorie in the process.

[O Please]

oh, as if you don't love it.

hey, IJC Victim, when you talk about how men should only chase hot girls, you know what that sounds like? "NEVER SETTLE!"

That's right, Mr. 49 years old. Never settle.

[Barbara]

Re: Almost 40's comment that ". . .people don't go to the gym to get healthy (is that even scientifically proven?). . ." I go to the gym to get healthy. And I'm a people. My bp is way down and lung capacity is at over 100% based on my age. My doctor approves. He has a scientific background, right? (Geez, I sure hope so!) Perhaps IJCVictim, MD has something to contribute to this topic?

[just get it over with]

no, i don't love it.

you've completely monopolized the comments section with repetitive stuff that's only vaguely related to the latest posts.

you: "you are old and superficial!"

him: "ijc's only care about money! men should never marry!"

[O Please]

OK, fair enough. I think posting here helps him get over his divorce, anyway, so maybe he needs it. Onward and upward.

[just get it over with]

cheers

[AnotherIJCvictim]

I only have two goals on this site:
1. to assist the Great Blogmeister in exposing ijc's for what they are
2. to educate and forwarn the single guys on this site about the dangers that await them if they become entangled with ijc's

I have tried to maintain a sense of purpose in steering clear of launching personal attacks on individual bloggers, and in not dignifying those who insult my family and me by not responding in kind. Let the readers judge for themselves.

Regarding the exercise issue, I would agree that younger people at the gym are there primarily to work on their appearance, and 'to see and be seen'. People in their 30's and up gradually find themselves gearing more towards health issues and true fitness.